The Bonding Properties of Mustard
by specialraven
Summary: While on a rampage for mustard, Starfire talks romance with Kid Flash over a bottle of mustard. No, not KidFlashxStar, KFXJinx and RobXStar
1. The Bonding Properties of Mustard

The Bonding Properties of Mustard

Du-du,

Du-du,

Du-du-dah-dah-du!

Almost there! So close! Just a few more inches!

"Hey Star. Guess I beat you again, huh?"

Nooooo! "Hello Kid Flash. How are you this glorious day?" Darn him, he had beaten her to the mustard, _again_! This had been happening all week.

"Pretty good, and you?"

Oh, so he was trying to be Mr. Slick, huh? We'll just see about that!

"I am fine. Kindly give me the mustard, or I will be forced to reveal your deepest darkest secret."

"What! I never told you about my crush on Jinx!"

Smirk.

"Oh, crap. Listen, Star, I'll give you the mustard, I'll do anything, but this never gets out! I'll even get Robin to go on a date with you!"

He knows! HE KNOWS! Ahhhhhh, I'm doomed! "Who told you?"

"Told me? No one needed to tell me. A blind man could see the tension between you two! So, you want the date? Coming right up, just don't tell anyone!"

"Calm down, Friend Kid Flash. I will not reveal this secret of yours, I merely wished to know. Why do you not tell Friend Jinx of your affections?"

"'Cause I know she won't feel the same."

"Do not be so sure. Why, in fact, Jinx was helping me decorate for Blorthog, and confided in me about her affections… Oh, dear. I was not supposed tell you that. Please do not tell her I told you!"

"Chill Star, I won't. But she really does like me, you know, like _that_?"

"Yes, she does. Must I yell it in your ear, so as for you to comprehend it?"

Now Kid Flash happened to know how loud Starfire's screams were. Kid Flash also happened to be slightly more intelligent than most males in the subject of "Females." So Kid Flash decided to say something very intelligent.

"N-n-nah. It's okay Star. I get it."

And so, Kid Flash's life expectancy was not decreased by at least three years. Guess Sex Ed classes do pay off.

Going back to their conversation, we rejoin Starfire and Robin making-ou- oops sorry, that happens later! Anyway, we find Starfire and Kid Flash talking about their one true love.

"You truly believe Robin feels affection for me?"

"Yes, he told me so last night!"

"Do males of this planet have sleepovers as well?"

"Hey, hey, hey! We do not have "sleepovers," we have men's bonding nights!"

"Of course Kid Flash."

"I know that tone of voice! That tone is SARCASIC!"

Starfire whipped out her notes. Finding the one saying "Insulting People's Intelligence" in Raven's round, cursive handwriting, she read "We-ell, go-olly Kid F-lash. You are a reg-u-lar Ein-stien."

"Thanks! Hey, wait a minute! But seriously, she likes me like that?"

"Yes, Cosmo you ignorant boob!" In case that wasn't a tip-off, Starfire had seen an episode of Fairly Odd Parents ™ while Beast Boy had been watching it.

"Err… thanks? Well, gotta ask out Jinx!"

"Farewell!"

Ah, yes. Starfire the matchmaker had succeeded again. Now if only she could convince Raven and Beast Boy they were perfect for each other…

Now, wasn't that weird? Want to know the reason Star's so OOC? She, err; she… was going through mustard withdrawal! Yeah, that's it! I will try to make this a two shot, but don't be disappointed if it happens when you're fifty. For this story of sorts, I had the lovely ego-inflator Sharla stand behind me yelling encouragements in my ear. Thank her, for she rocks!


	2. Hidden Cameras and Ice Cream on the Run

Jinx was calmly walking to the bathroom until-

"JINX!"

Jinx whipped around, thinking maybe there was going to be some _action_ for once. Much to her disappointment, though, it was just Kid Flash. Although he did look kind of nervous…

"Hey, what's up? Any bad guy butt to kick yet?"

"Heh, sorry, no. I just wanted to talk to ya."

Jinx was confused. What was up with him? It wasn't like he wasn't constantly awake the _other_ twenty-three hours of the day, just to piss her off.

"Okay, make it snappy. Raven, Argent and I were gonna hang out in Argent's room today." And she really didn't want to miss that, especially when the rest of the Titans where only _just _warming up to her.

"Oh, okay. So, here's how it is. IwastalkingtoStarthismoring, becauseIhadstolenhermusardagain, and, well…um, we sorta got talking, and I told her howcrazyBoyBlunder was for, well …her, y'know? And so, anyway, wegotontothetopic, of…well, um you…"

This was amusing, actually. Well, it would be if she didn't have to be on the other side of the Tower in 2 minutes.

"Spit it out. Do I have to use your real name?"

Kid Flash visibly paled. "Okay, so Ikindasortalikeyou!"

A blink. And then another. Her brain finished deciphering the message. The words sunk in. A mad cackle.

"Very funny, Flash. Where are the hidden cameras?" Jinx waved wildly around the hallway. Maybe she could flip the people who were behind this off. Somewhere in this tower, Beast Boy was probably having trouble breathing for laughter.

Weirdly enough, Kid Flash looked confused. "Huh, what are you talking about?" He was good at this acting business.

"Spit it out! Which corner are you hiding them in?" He was giving her this really funny look. "There… were no hidden cameras?"

He shook his head, looking bewildered. Cookies fell from the sky. Well, not really, but they could've and neither of the two teens would not have noticed.

Jinx was confused. Was it just a hidden Beast Boy then?

Kid Flash was confused. Why did she think he had hidden cameras?

"Forget this. I have to go." Jinx started to walk away.

"So," Kid Flash began in a dejected voice, "is that a no?"

This was going too far. She could take a joke, but this was ridiculous. "For God's sake Flash! A joke is a joke! And while I have a sense of humor, this joke just isn't funny anymore!"

He blinked. And again. "What are you talking about? This isn't a joke! I'm serious!" And to himself he muttered, "Guess Star was just kidding."

Jinx heard this and gasped. Why had Starfire told him? This wasn't fair! Was even Star, the beautiful, kind alien, against her? Well, maybe the HIVE 5 would still – that's right, they were frozen, weren't they? Well, she could just steal stuff on her own.

"See you around Flash." Jinx started running, running so fast she didn't register the tears falling.

Kid Flash, meanwhile, was completely shocked. What had just happened? Was she gonna steal again? He had to stop her!

There was a yellow and red blur next to her, and then Kid Flash right in front of her. Unable to stop in time, Jinx ran right into him, with an "Oof."

She tried to run past him and keep going, but his arms wrapped around her kind of killed that plan. He pulled her closer as Jinx struggled desperately to free herself. Realizing the futility of the situation, Jinx started to beat against his chest, using swear words he hadn't even_ heard_ before.

After about five minutes of verbal abuse, Jinx started to wear thin. "And your mother, she…" She stopped, and took a deep breath.

Taking this opportunity, Kid Flash drew her closer. "Look, Jinx. This isn't a joke, I do like you. And, well, if you think this is a joke, then I'm sorry, but it's not. You don't hafta say yes, but," he took a deep breath, "would you like to go out for, I don't know, ice cream, or something, sometime?"

Jinx looked up at him, trying to judge his sincerity. This took almost a minute of awkward silence.

Apparently he passed, because she slowly grinned at him, saying, "You're paying, right?"

A blink. And then another. His brain finished deciphering the message. The words sunk in. A maniacal grin. "Yup, but I get to choose the ice cream flavor!"

"What? You aren't buying two _separate _cones? You cheapskate!"

"Whatever. You don't know how expensive things are around here, all you did was steal them!"

Silence.

"O-oh, sorry about that."

"That's okay. Hey, we just made _two_ gay babies!"

"Hah, yeah, I guess we di – Wait, **WHAT**!?" Kid Flash spluttered.

This was just the kind of reaction she had been hoping for. "I would tell you, but I'm late!" Jinx yelled as she sprinted down the corridor and across the Tower into Argent's room.

Kid Flash was left in the dust, utterly confused.

* * *

Ha, that took forever. I wrote this in short little bursts everyday, so it went from funny to angsty to funny again. And that gay baby thing? Well my friends and I have this joke that for every awkward silence, a gay baby is born. Man, my science class makes a lot of gay babies... This is turning into a three-shot now. Oh well. Sorry, StarXRob shippers, you'll have to wait another eternity.

Teen Titans doesn't belong to me.


End file.
